Smells Like Teen Spirit, Nirvana, 1991
We had a pretty heavy Kurt/Nirvana weekend in our house. We love Nirvana and listen to our vinyl really often, it's not just on Kurt's birthday or death anniversary; Nirvana is intertwined in the fabric of our lives.
I know Kurt as being the voice of my generation. I really do. Always did, from the first time I heard his voice.
Ahh yes, the first time I heard Smells Like Teen Spirit ... I was a 20-year-old newlywed and a new mother on top of that. My husband, Keith, was on second shift and he had just left for work -- I was alone in our first apartment watching MTV. That opening riff stopped me in my tracks and I stood in front of the TV pretty much with my mouth open the entire time the video played. It was like nothing I had ever heard or seen. The lyrics were beautiful nonsense that made perfect sense.
It's hard to remember life before cell phones ... life before instant, constant communication ... but when the video was over, I needed to tell someone what I had just witnessed but there was no one to tell. Although my younger brother and I have never been super close, we do share a love of music so I called him. I waited up on Keith that night, too, because I needed to tell him about Nirvana. Within a few days, I had Nevermind and just lost my mind over it being like nothing I had ever heard.
In retrospect, it's shocking for me to think about how short the timeframe was from that first listen to Kurt's suicide --- seriously, three years.
I love how Kurt was the anti-hero, the anti-rockstar. I love how Smells Like Teen Spirit became the least of what defined Nirvana, an acknowledged albatross of sorts Kurt thought attracted the type of fans he saw as toxic perpetrators of oppressive ideals. Oh, the irony.
I hate he is gone -- he was the first kindred artist that I ever lost. I hate to hear people of my generation talk about him as being a loser because of his end. I hate that rising generations only know the music overshadowed by the iconic tragedy of Kurt Cobain.
I wish everyone could live those three years of Nirvana in the early 1990s like I did and have that color their forever perception of the music.
I don't have a favorite Nirvana song, do you?
My favorite captured version of Smells Like Teen Spirit is from their "live" performance on Top of the Pops.
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